I watched half of the Royal Wedding today but I was compelled to live-tweet Bishop Michael Curry’s speech today (I called him Reverend by mistake):
15:30: Reverend Curry’s African-American style of oration is making all the British guests nervous
15:32: The English priests are all looking studiously away as Rev. Curry appeals to them with his swooping hand movements
15:34: This is more emotion than has ever been displayed in St. George’s Chapel ever
15:37: Rev Curry about to set his own sleeves on fire with the candles on the altar
15:38: Rev Curry references The Handmaid’s Tale in his wedding speech
15:40: Prince Harry starting to look alarmed at Rev Curry’s enthusiasm for love
15:42: Royal choir ready to throw off their robes and break into gospel as soon as Rev Curry stops talking
15:44: Rev Curry reveals he is a black belt in aikido at altar
15:46: Rev Curry announces he will run for President in the 2020 elections
15:50: Prince Harry crying for real now at Rev Curry’s inability to stop talking
15:51 Queen Elizabeth sufers silently as Rev Curry refers to “Ol’ Solomon”
15:52: This is Rev Curry’s moment in the sun – and he intends to make it last 24 hours
15:55: Rev Curry takes us on a quick walkthrough of man’s achievements, staring with the Bronze Age, to the Iron Age, to the Industrial Revolution. ALL IS FIRE, FIRE FIRE
15:56: Diana laughing from Heaven so hard right now #RevCurryIsOnFire
15:58 Done with fire, Rev Curry now moves on to the other elements – weather, wind, earth.
15:59 FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE
16:00 Back to love now. Rev Curry keeping back the brimstone for another day.
16:04 Here comes the gospel. Camilla wondering if she can catch the next flight to any Scandinavian country now
16:04 Grace Jones directing the gospel choir
Bina Shah 